Cribbing and Complaining

Why do we crib and complain? Possible reasons could be

1. Total absence of gratitude for what one is gifted with and taking for granted what one has, be it the ability to see , walk , talk etc., or having a family.
2. Constant comparisons and thereby the need to prove that one is at par if not exceeding others.
3. Need to control everything and everyone.
4. To continuously prove one’s own greatness or self worth by emphasising on others faults.
5. To ensure that all concerned know that one is working hard, this could happen in scenarios where the nagging person needs to be appreciated due to low self esteem and is receiving none.
6. To feel a victim in life – the reason for which could be once again lack of self esteem, self confidence and lack of pride for what one does.
7. Feeding one’s own EGO by pointing out the weakness or fault of someone
8. Too self obsessed and lack of ability to get into others shoes
9. Simply having nothing worthwhile to speak about, nagging suits one fine as silence seems to be stupefying.
10. For some it could have become a habit that gives them joy and they may not be aware of this fact.
11. And at times one complains and uses others as a garbage bin to empty one's own frustration and is not ready to listen to disagreements when it comes to what they are cribbing about.
12. Bringing out one’s own frustrations or unhappiness on other members like for example upset with spouse and anger is shown on the kid over a small mistake.
13. For ladies it could also be Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) or menopause.

The steps we could give a try to prevent cribbing is

1. Observe that we have started cribbing or complaining.
2. Feel grateful for what we have and stop comparing and compete in a healthy manner.
3. Accept lovingly good and bad, rich and poor, hard work and enjoyment, pleasure and pain, beuaty and the beast.
4. It would help to stop expecting everyone to live by one’s own rules and values and instead get into their shoes and see from their perspective.
5. Think if the complaining is of any interest to the person who is listening and whether we are just using them as a garbage bin
6. We need to think if the complaining is to prove that we are the only martyr in the family/ group and if yes, then either one should do it whole heartedly or the fault lies in us and not others.
7. Definitely helps to free our mind from harassing itself with repetitive monotonous thoughts of an issue. Cribbing is of no use ever, not for an intelligent person for sure. We instead can try to handle issues in a quick, crisp and complete manner where the concerned persons get to talk, listen and work towards an amicable solution. It would help to make sure such meetings are held when all concerned are in a pleasant mood.
8. During PMS and menopause, it is tough but a lady by being more aware and understanding could try and work towards improving her attitude during this period. For example we could try and work less and do more of things we love during this period. Meditation could be the best medicine as it will help us be aware.
9. We can also slowly work towards becoming aware of emotions that lead to cribbing be it anger or frustration, this awareness may not happen immediately but with practice should try to get the awareness and ensure we do not speak or argue until the emotion becomes lower in intensity.

 

This is a beautiful world and each one of us is extremely beautiful so why waste our loving moments, let us work towards not forgetting the existing beauty in each of our lives and those of others. So whether it is us who cribs or our loved one, if we understand the reasons by being patient and loving we could stop all the cribbing and complaining and embrace healthy arguments, discussions and adjustments.